Five Hottest First Ladies in American History

5)Dolly Madison:

 Ok, I know it is sometimes hard to tell from those old cracked paintings but there’s more to hotness then looks. First, she has a stripper name. Second, she saved priceless artifacts from the White House when the British burned it down in 1812. Third, while she doesn’t seem like the kind of wife that puts out every night I am willing to bet, with an age gap of 17 years between her and the President, the times she did its hot, good, and dirty.

4)Hillary Clinton:

Hillary is a strong independent woman who while not lacking in the looks department tends to come off as a petulant bitch. However, when it truly counted she stood by her man through multiple scandals, hard times, and unfaithful affairs and that is fucking hot.

3)Harriet Lane:

 I know what you’re thinking. There was no President Lane, and you’re right because Harriet Lane was the niece of President James Buchanan, the only lifelong bachelor (possibly homosexual) President of the United States. Harriet was only 27 when she filed the role of First Lady and was described as outgoing with a full-bosom figure, a notably good dancer and entertainer, as well as a adamant supporter of her Uncle (possible the worst president the American People ever endured).

2)Michelle Obama:

Michelle is young for a first lady much like her young husband president, which makes here disproportionately hotter than other first ladies like Barbara and Laura Bush. The Obama’s are notoriously in a happily marriage, which leads me to believe that Michelle is as much of a rock star in bed as I presume Dolly was, combine this with her hot looks and Ms. Obama slams the number 2 slot in my top five.

1)Jackie Kennedy:

Jackie was, like Michelle, one of the younger first ladies of photographic era so she was a natural to make the list. However, her looks combine with her intelligence, poise, and loyalty to her man (the most notably adulterous of all American Presidents) ranks her at the top. Jackie made number one because she embodied all the hotness traits of the other four, she has Michelle’s looks, Dolly’s strength, Harriet’s sexual appetite, and Hillary’s loyalty.

(Honorable Mention)

Abigail Adams:

I know what you’re thinking another old bag in a cracked dusty painting, but after reading John Adam’s biography I have to say there is something about her. John Adam has himself described her as his most “dearest friend” throughout his life, to me as a husband that means one thing.

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Dick Sharpe

Dick Sharpe is among that rare breed of men who crawled their way out of the gutter and in to the academic and political elite. Despite this accomplishment, Dick retains his sharpe wit and sense of low-brow humor that makes him such a great contributor to Step Aside Show Blog and Podcast. Although Dick is a wicked charmer, whose sexual exploits are still the talk of Yale, Columbia, and a small town in a northern border province of Iraq, he is also a domesticated man living with with two handsome yet annoying sons and his wicked hot but equally annoying wife in Seattle. Dick is an accomplished academic writer, an award-winning poet and a self-proclaimed wordsmith, a battle-tested Combat Officer of the US Army, as well as a world-renowned alcoholic. Working mostly in the public sector, Dick continues to use his unique set of skills to better the life of his fellow compatriots. Mr. Sharpe’s ideological beliefs are a bit at odds within themselves at times he is strong believer in social programs and liberal rights while at the same time a strong believer in neo-liberal economic policies and the power of the free market to shape the political landscape. Put simple Dick Sharpe is the kind of man men wish they could be, and women wish they can be with, but the truth is they can’t because there is only room enough for one Dick Sharpe in the World.