2012 First Election Results: Unanimously Undecided

 

2012’s first election results are in and who really cares? The residents of Dixville Notch in Coos County, insert adolescent giggle, close their local polls ridiculously early every presidential election to get some face time in the national media. The results for this election are split 5 for the Brown Obomber, 5 Mittens, and nil for the Step Aside Show endorsed candidate and Super Bowl Hopeful Peyton Manning. Apparently the 10 register voters Dixheadville are not fans of the Step Aside show.

Interestingly, according to the census, there are 12 residents in Dixhole’s Cortch, so apparently two residents had something better to do at midnight than vote in the national election. In 2008 Obama stole this election with 15 votes to challenger John McCain’s 6. Some pundits are noting that Obama has lost half his supporters in this small town, but that really does not matter because apparently the town lost half its registered voters in the last 4 years as well. Prior to 2008 the results, this backwoods town leaned heavily to the right. I can speculate that the Ayn Ryan loving gun crazy Dickvillians hunted down the evil liberal invaders of their sleepy town; or it is possible that the economic pressures and socialist death squads lead to the demise of the Democratic base. Either way, I really don’t care what a bunch of rednecks did last night, this election is over, so is the Super Bowl: Go Broncos!

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Dick Sharpe

Dick Sharpe is among that rare breed of men who crawled their way out of the gutter and in to the academic and political elite. Despite this accomplishment, Dick retains his sharpe wit and sense of low-brow humor that makes him such a great contributor to Step Aside Show Blog and Podcast. Although Dick is a wicked charmer, whose sexual exploits are still the talk of Yale, Columbia, and a small town in a northern border province of Iraq, he is also a domesticated man living with with two handsome yet annoying sons and his wicked hot but equally annoying wife in Seattle. Dick is an accomplished academic writer, an award-winning poet and a self-proclaimed wordsmith, a battle-tested Combat Officer of the US Army, as well as a world-renowned alcoholic. Working mostly in the public sector, Dick continues to use his unique set of skills to better the life of his fellow compatriots. Mr. Sharpe’s ideological beliefs are a bit at odds within themselves at times he is strong believer in social programs and liberal rights while at the same time a strong believer in neo-liberal economic policies and the power of the free market to shape the political landscape. Put simple Dick Sharpe is the kind of man men wish they could be, and women wish they can be with, but the truth is they can’t because there is only room enough for one Dick Sharpe in the World.