Sell Your Gold, Buy Wampum

It’s time to sell your gold. At the height of the Great Recession investors and doomsday preppers alike flocked to dump all their assets in gold, the safest of all investments. It was perceived that gold was the soundest investment in the turbulent market since it has a consistently increase in value over the last decade. In fact it had gained 650% since 1999. This was once true of the real estate market as well. The thing is, gold has no real utility outside of its use in manufacturing certain electronics and its use in jewelry. So the price of gold is mostly fixed to what someone is willing to pay to own it. However, gold is on the decline losing 17% value since 2011. Big investors are pulling out of the market and ordinary citizens are seeing their once foolproof investment dwindle before their eyes.

Last call, you don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here.

It’s sometimes hard for some to accept that this was just a bubble that inflated beyond its true value and not a real consistently sound investment. There will be those who will say this is only a hiccup and gold is worth more than the market appreciates. However, I find in situations like this it’s best to look for the next big foolproof investment bubble. It’s Wampum.

If you’re from India why are you white?

Wampum, cut sea shells woven together in strings or belts, was once a currency and jewelry of the East Coast Native American tribes. Today Wampum is still around mostly in Native American tourist traps and online retailers. But the real allure to an investment in Wampum is that it is a completely arbitrary item, just like gold. I personally predict that if you get in on the ground floor you stand to make a 1000% return on your original investment in as short as 7 years. At which time I predict the bottom will fall out in the Wampum market and the next new big investment will be these giant stones with holes in the center that early humans decorated their lawns with, doomsday preppers will love these.

Check out the latest addition to my investment portfolio.


New York Times

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Dick Sharpe

Dick Sharpe is among that rare breed of men who crawled their way out of the gutter and in to the academic and political elite. Despite this accomplishment, Dick retains his sharpe wit and sense of low-brow humor that makes him such a great contributor to Step Aside Show Blog and Podcast. Although Dick is a wicked charmer, whose sexual exploits are still the talk of Yale, Columbia, and a small town in a northern border province of Iraq, he is also a domesticated man living with with two handsome yet annoying sons and his wicked hot but equally annoying wife in Seattle. Dick is an accomplished academic writer, an award-winning poet and a self-proclaimed wordsmith, a battle-tested Combat Officer of the US Army, as well as a world-renowned alcoholic. Working mostly in the public sector, Dick continues to use his unique set of skills to better the life of his fellow compatriots. Mr. Sharpe’s ideological beliefs are a bit at odds within themselves at times he is strong believer in social programs and liberal rights while at the same time a strong believer in neo-liberal economic policies and the power of the free market to shape the political landscape. Put simple Dick Sharpe is the kind of man men wish they could be, and women wish they can be with, but the truth is they can’t because there is only room enough for one Dick Sharpe in the World.