The Pro-Life Paradox

Yesterday marked the annual “March for Life” in Washington D.C. Pro-Life proponents were thrilled that the current administration’s vice president came out in support of the march for the first time in its history. While they have every right to march (thanks, 1st amendment!), and their message is received, their argument is half-baked. Signs at the march showed demonstrators were there to “speak up for those who can’t speak for themselves” and they believe the unborn is a “child not a choice”. These sound like decent arguments, however; who will be the voice for these unborn while they are gestating and ultimately, born?

Pregnancy. I am a mother of two – I hated pregnancy. I had relatively uncomplicated pregnancies and still, I’m firmly in the “love my kids, hated being pregnant” camp. Some women love it, the good Lord bless their hearts. That being said, I planned my pregnancies, wanted to be pregnant and still hated it. Take a woman who doesn’t want to be pregnant, did not plan on becoming pregnant, and give them no option other than to carry that child. If you think these women are going to see the proverbial light and eat properly, seek proper medical care, take prenatal vitamins, and properly care for that unplanned/unwanted child, you are deluding yourself. I’m sure that can and does happen, but for many women, that is not a reality. Complicate the matter with poverty, substance abuse/addictions, abusive relationships, etc., and you have a recipe for disaster. Forcing a woman into pregnancy by “speaking for those who don’t have a voice” is destructive in the long run. Will you be their “voice” when they are born premature, addicted to drugs, sick, with birth defects, and/or into poverty? Will you be their “voice” if they are sent to abusive foster care homes? And yes, I fully realize adoption is always an option, but again, you may be forcing women who cannot take care of themselves to take care of themselves plus a gestating child. Unrealistic.

Mothers. Assuming the mother has an easy, breezy pregnancy, there will still be the matter of giving birth. How will these women be expected to pay their bills when they give birth and have to miss work since paid maternity leave isn’t a reality for many? If the pregnancy becomes complicated or high risk, who will speak for the mothers who are now sick or bedridden with this child? And be certain, those are best-case scenarios for some. Who will speak for the unborn terminated by way of home abortion or forced miscarriage if women lose access to safe abortions? Will you speak for the pain and misery suffered by the unborn in those scenarios? Will you be there to care for and comfort the mothers who maim themselves, or for families who lose a loved one from a home abortion gone wrong? Would you show sympathy and empathy for that strong woman who didn’t abort that child you marched to save?

Some pro-life supporters argue “just practice abstinence if you can’t support a child or don’t want to be pregnant!”. By that logic, “just put down that cupcake and you won’t need to lose 5 pounds”, or “just put down that cigarette and you won’t need to worry about being addicted”. That logic isn’t going to work, and it has been proven. The pro-life argument is understandable, and it does show great compassion for unborn children who had no choice in being conceived and have no say in whether they are to be born or not. It’s heart-wrenching. Unfortunately, life is not that simple. People need education, access to health care, and contraceptives. You can’t make a sweep of everything you don’t like and expect everyone to fall in line with your beliefs. That has never worked in society and it never will. Just ask Texas how that is working out for them.

Just as many pro-life supporters declared that the women in last weekend’s march “didn’t speak for them”, don’t speak for all women and for the unborn. Speak for humanity. “Your voice” is worthless and useless to a child born into a situation where they cannot be supported financially, emotionally, or humanely. You are narrow-minded and self-important if you think saving an unborn from abortion is heroic. Unless you plan on spending a lot more in taxes to fund good foster programs, good adoption programs, social food and welfare programs, and education reform, you need to sit down and re-evaluate.