5 Hottest Women of Congress

Just looking at those eyes stimulates my package

1. Kristi Noem, South South Dakota 6th District Republican-

This sultry Congresswoman with fire in her eyes is in her freshman year, having been voted in office in the last election. Interesting facts: this buxom brunette lacks a bachelors degree (she’s working on that), and has over 27 violations for speeding.  Kristi has a similar yet more youthful look to the familiar Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin type.

I wonder if her carpet matches my drapes?

2. Kirsten Gillibrand, New York, Junior Senator Democrat-

This beautiful blond is a political power house. After her legal career helped Hillary Clinton get elected to the Senate seat, she now rests her plump ass in the Senate. Kristen also held a seat in the House of Representatives after beating out a long time Republican incumbent, which is no easy feat. Kirsten proves that the Republicans don’t hold the monopoly of hotness.

I like to mack you, Babe!

3. Mary Bono Mack,  California, 44th district Republican-

I know nothing about Mary, except that she is a hot Congresswoman,  and is the widower of the failed singer/skier Sonny Bono. She comes from California where popularity and looks always trumps political acumen. That withstanding, Mack is also a strong proponent of clean energy technology and protecting American farmers.

I would like to pork her barrel legislation

4. Loretta Sanchez,  47th District of California-

Loretta, the lovely Latin Lolita,  is a second generation American who grew up in Anaheim not knowing English, and credits American exceptionalism for her political success.  Loretta is the real deal; she works hard and produces some real legislation and policy reform for California’s immigrant population.

I would like to default all over her debt ceiling

5. Michele Bachman, Minnesota 6th District-

Michele does have a hot body to go along with her hot button Conservative Tea Party rhetoric.  This anti-big government and anti-taxation zealot comes in last because she also has the look of a crazy bitch. But what can I say, I am working with a small demographic.

The Boobs of Obama

Michelle Obama is not only a fox of a First Lady, she also has some sensational chesticles. Michelle has created a titty twisting tumult over her campaign to encourage low-income mothers to booby-feed their infants. The First Lady has taken a floppy-funbag fusillade of malice over her position to provide mothers in poverty with free breast pumps. The conservative but curvy Michelle Bachmann stated that this would constitute a nanny state, where big government is forcing mommy’s mammary in their children’s mouths. If that wasn’t bad enough Sarah Palin dropped a disparaging double D sized remark on the First Ladies efforts. The difference is that the First Lady chooses to use her 34 quadrupedal B’s (Barraks-Brown-Bouncy-Buddies) for the forces of good instead of evil. In this day and age most educate and affluent women prefer to nurse their child with their bosoms rather than store bought formula. Mommy’s jug juice has been proven to improve the health and prevent obesity in young children. However, impoverished mothers are forced to return to work  either because they are a single parent or in a dual income family. This means that low income women are in need of pumps to store their mommy milkshakes for use when they are away. Modern udder pumps are not cheap either, most cost over $200. While clearly I  lean heavily on liberal-left chest pillow of this issue and Republicans rack themselves on the right, what I would really advocate is a pragmatic view of this issue. There is not much reason to allow conservative views to cleavage support of the health of children.

It Ain’t Over Yet: Occupy Wall Street Marches On and Police Respond

In an obvious response to Brooklyn Steve’s projection that the popular Occupy Wall Street movement was dead, several thousand protesters took to the streets of New York to personally prove him wrong. It seems that the liberal protesters have figured out that the key to winning a political war is through media saturation. This is an election year after all. This all means that the days of grabbing headlines with a few smelly bums sleeping in a small city park are over. So what gets headlines, cops pepper spraying old ladies seems to work for the Occupy Seattle spin-off protestors. This tactic continues to grab headlines as the Mayor of Seattle formally apologized to the 84-year-old liberal activist and suggested that the Seattle Police review their actions. In that protest Seattle Police arrested 6 protestors (the old lady was not one of them). New York, not to be out done by the Starbucks city, had hundreds of protestors arrested today. Its seems that Police have to sit down with public officials a comprise a clear plan that will allow peaceful protest but maintain the safety of the public at large, because if not there is going to be a lot more tity grabbing (see below) and grandma bashing to come.

 

Honk!

 Seattle Time

Which Came First the Egg or Roe v. Wade

 Yesterday, a majority of Mississippi voters sided against the proposed ordinance to define “personhood” as a fertilized human egg, and thereby criminalizing certain types  of contraceptives and abortions. I often chose not to weigh in on moral issues such as a women’s right to choose, however this particular issue was for decades drawn into the political arena and often weaponiezed by the extreme right, which makes it far game for political punditry. I always find it interesting that the party that promotes free markets for consumers and corporations to make their own choices as well as a smaller government is also in to political camp that wants to regulate activities in individual’s bedrooms. 

Firstly, I am pleased that this issue did not pass because frankly I do not think we need any more Mississippians in this country. Secondly because I don’t should not be up to a third party voting majority to decide moral issues for the voting minority as well as the none voting population (the latter two of which often equal a larger portion of the population then the former).  Finally, I would like to point out that pro-life advocates, while I respect their right to voice opinions and make their own choices, lack the understanding that women have the agency to control their own bodies without laws to guide and punish them. If women lacked this agency, then I would not have had to wear condoms for the first year that I dated my wife. This was not my choice, I hate condoms and prefer a contraceptive-pill/pull-out method, but it was a mutual agreement in our relationship that I would wear a condom in return for the right/enjoyment to have sex with her. I know in my own experience with marriage that if a woman does not want to have a baby she can make that happen, and when she does want to have a baby there is nothing that can stand in her way either. Women know what they want or do not want and they have to power to make it happen. The agency of women is powerful enough to make men do all sort of things, such as being forced to endure all those fucking Twilight movies.

Lingerie Football, Proof that it truely is a Man’s World

For those of you that thought that scantily clad women were doomed to sell coffee and dance on your laps for twenty dollars song, think again. Finial Hot women everywhere have an new outlet for their talents, tits, frustration, and firm-asses. The Lingerie Football League may sound like a premise  that was thought up and rightfully should have died in cloudy dive-bar full of sceezy old men. “Hey, Billy, would it be great if women played football in their underwear?”. Lucky for you and me that dream is today a reality. At first the league started off with four teams a few years ago and has now grown to include twelve teams, an MTV2 sponsor with live coverage and a formidable fan base. Some my scoff at the quality of the athletes but in an interview the coach of the Seattle Mist claims that his Women are real players who hit and run hard. Further evidence suggest that the lingerie-clad ladies take the sport seriously, when 22 women resigned from the Toronto based team over a dispute involving player cuts.

Holding?

 

 

Lingerie Football League

Occupy Wall Street VS. The Tea Party

I know what you’re thinking, the two movements could not be more opposite, and you’re right, but not really. Let’s step back to the dark days just after Obama became president, when it seemed that right-wing political rule in Washington was a thing of the past. At that time a small grass-roots movement sprang up in rural areas around the country and slowly built momentum over the course of the next two years. Their message was unclear at first, mostly the wanted lower taxes, later they came to oppose everything that came from the Obama administration, namely Health Care Reform. At times their efforts were labeled as latently racist or political slander. Despite this, the efforts of the Tea Party culminated in the midterm elections of 2010 where right-of-center politicians, some linked heavily to the Tea Party, gained a majority in the House of Representatives and split the Senate. The Occupy Wall Street Movement is similar to the early stages of Tea Party in that it is a grass roots movement, it lacks clearly defined goals, has spread nationwide, and is in opposition to a definable political body (right wing politics). There are significant differences between the two however, the Tea Party was dominated by older middle class Americans, Occupiers have a younger base, Tea Party started from humble means but became organized, and the Occupation seems less organized as it is made up of fewer professionals with organizational skills. The question is, will the occupation movement have the same political effect in the coming election that the Tea Party had in the mid terms.

 

The New York Times

Battle in Seattle

Occupyseattle6

Just like this Podcast, the Occupy Wall Street movement is now bi-costal. Today about one hundred dreadlock bearing, sign waving, and bullhorn shouting activists made camp in a open- square near Seattle’s Westlake Shopping Center. In a happy cluster-fuck of a coincidence, the shopping chain Target planned to host an event with Celebrity Gail Simmons in that very same open square where the smelly hipsters were now squatting. The results of this were highly entertaining. Enough even to draw me away from work to check it out. Here I actually attempted to do some on-the-street reporting. As I entered the square first by accidentally crossing the thinly stretched picket line into the Target event area, where there was a stage and red-shirted vendors giving out samples of food and receiving taunts from the protestors about corporate greed. To the rear of the stage, there was modest encampment of two dozen multi-person tents and more formidable group of protestors. After getting a free hot-cider from a vendor I entered the encampment where there were several local news crews setting up interviews with the more animated characters in the group. A young man sporting baggy pants, brown wife-beater,  and  a reverse mohawk hair style gave me shit for drinking the free cider. I asked the haphazardly dressed “what is this all about?”, he replied, “We want to take down Wall Street, and the Tea Party.” To this I probably too quickly retorted “But there is no Wall Street or Financial District in Seattle.”. “Well, fuck Target then.” was his reply. The next person encountered asked me if I could tell that he had urinated on himself. I informed him that I could and moved on. When Gail Simmons (or some other person, I really have no idea who she is) took the stage is when the real action took place. To this there was a modest group middle-aged women gathered for the event that erupted in applause. In response to this the masses of grimy homeless looking protesters fortified the piquet lines at the front of the event shouting a myriad of chants. There was no clear message that emerged from this group, but these people sure are passionate, I have to give them that. In a weird turn, I found that the groups of middle-aged women at the Target event were more intrigued by the protesters than angry or fearful of them. Despite the obnoxious antics and shouts from the protesters, the two diverse  groups seemed to co-exist for the time I was present at the event. I even saw some protesters drinking the free cider, eating the free food, and mingling with some of the red-shirted “corporate oppressors”.

 Occupy Seattle

This was a Step Aside Show Exclusive

Foxy Knoxy Goes Free

Today Amanda Knox was acquitted of the murder charge that has kept her imprisoned in Italy for the last four years. This reporter reached out to a spokesperson for the Italian community, (Tony Long Island). His response to my inquiry on whether Italy should issue a formal apology, he responded “fuggetaboutit” while grabbing his crotch. As for Amanda Knox she reportedly is planning to get away from all these dirty I-ties with  a peaceful hiking trip in Iran.

Interesting Factoid About Michele Bachmann’s Tits

For those of you who listen to our weekly podcast, you know about Dick’s crusade to steal Google search visitors away from the Internet by writing stories about Michele Bachmann’s tits. Well, it is no doubt working by a quick look at the site statistics for http://stepasideshow.com. The funny thing, is that 8 out of the top 10 searches that end up on our site are breast related. Even funnier thing, the sweater kitten related hits result in an average time spent on site of just 3 seconds. Oh how disappointed those people must be!